Predicting the end of the world/civilization is like guessing the winner of the next Kid's Choice Awards, you're probably wrong and no one cares. However, if you're reading this, I assume that there wasn't a rapture this weekend. Which kind of sucks, because I really wanted a world without self-righteous D-bags. I'm not saying that all Christians are self-righteous D-bags, I'm saying that some Christians are self-righteous D-bags. Just like some atheist are extremely self-righteous. As are some Jewish people, as well as some (coughcoughmajoritycough) Muslim people are self-righteous. After a rapture, all the Christians are gone and everyone else is proven wrong... let's see those of us who'd be "left behind" have much of an ego after that.
|"The Christians are gone?!? QUICKLY, NOW! CHANGE THE TEXTBOOKS BEFORE THEY RETURN!"|
- Pat Robertson heard from it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend you were messing around.
His Proof? The same proof offered up time and time again by his people, "God told me."
Evidence to the contrary? Why would any god pick the biggest A-Hole on the planet to be the recipient of his word? This is the same guy who said America deserved 9/11. Case closed.
|Fire-Spewing Demons, Whores, Dragons, Living Dead; The Biblical Apocalypse is Metal as Hell... no pun intended|
- Computers too stupid for a date-change?
The Proof? The two-digit year calendar system used in computer programming.
Evidence to the Contrary? These same computers can calculate pi to an nearly-infinite degree in seconds... they can handle a two-digit year change.
|"Gee, golly, gosh! You mean it's NOT 1911?"|
- Man-Made Black Hole to swallow everything!
Of course, the LHC was started without a hitch, although SCHRODINGER's Large Hadron Collider both destroyed the world and didn't at the same time. (ten hive-fives if you get this joke without using Google)
The Proof? ACTUALLY, there was a chance that the LHC would create black holes, although the odds were 198,000,000,000,000:1 and nobody mentions that the blackholes created would be microscopic and would only have enough force to consume themselves.
|A Black Hole warning that DIDN'T come from Hawking? We should have known better.|
- In 1806, the chicken didn't come at all.
The Proof? The Chicken was, in fact, laying eggs with the words on them.
The Funny Part? Well, one day, the villagers wanted to catch the first look of their Mother Hen Madonna laying... only to find the hen's farmer with the pre-scribed egg in one hand, and an upside-down hen in the other. In order to make believers out of his friends and neighbors, Farmer Frown was shoving eggs up that poor chicken's ass!
|When reached for comment, she only said, "I got clucked."|
- Miller Time?
Proof? Nada, "God told him"
|Seriously? They couldn't have held out using that phrase for another couple of hundred years?|
There you go, five of the silliest world-ending scenarios that never were. Hopefully, you'll think of at least one before you trust in anyone telling you that the world is over (I'm looking at you, 2012) and you can laugh at others rather than yourself in retrospect.