Friday, June 10, 2011

An open letter to the kids who grew up just before us

DC here,
     I was born in 1986, and while I remember the 90's, I have no real recollection of the 80's.  However, I've seen all the reruns that Saturday Morning Cartoons could offer, and I've got questions for people born between 1978-81.
More like the power of GAYskull, amirite?

    Did you acknowledge that He-man was gay? If not, how could you ignore the facts?  Most obvious, his name is Prince Albert, a name shared by a male genital peircing. He used the most phallic sword in cartoons. Dude was totally a euphamism for a closeted gay, when he grabbed his phallus and said his magic words, he became a stronger man with too little clothing.  The question is not whether or not he WAS gay, that's a given, it's did you realize it as children?

Wouldn't all her movies be blue films?

    Did you realize that smurfette was the only female smurf? The sad implications of just how slutty she must have been are mind-boggling.  I'm not even mentioning the fact that all the children would eventually have to grow up to get into incestuous relationships with one another. Gross.

I pity the fools who think this guy is cool.

    Mr T.  Just wow.  Although our age group had to live down Dennis Rodman, so...

LOL, his best friend's name was Boner!

    What did you guys do to Kirk Cameron that turned him into the super douche that he is now? Seriously, how much molestation is required to make someone SUCH A CUNT? Emmanuel Lewis used to hang out with Michael Jackson and he never got this bad. This video is all the proof you need.

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